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Normal Egg
Member Lvl: 7
Egg Points: 40853
Posts: 1589
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 1:55 p.m. - Subject: Ghost Memories
Herro.
Long story short, me girlfriend decided she wanted to take a temporary break last Sunday. 3 days before our one year anniversary, and a week before d-da..er..V-day. Still good friends though, but this isnt the point of the topic.
There are hallways that me and her used to walk down, places we used to go, and things we used to do together. The usual couple stuff. (holding hands, hugging, talking, kissing..etc)
Lots of the time we would take the hallways (high school fag here) that would let us have more time together. With the new semester, I now have to take some of those hallways to get to class. Every time I do, though, I see ghost memories and visions of her and when we were together. Lots of times I physically see an image of her there there next to me, and other times its mental images and memories.
Ive started crying in the middle of the hallway after seeing that sometimes too, and ive never been one to cry.
I like having memories of her and not forgetting her, but the ghost visions are ripping me apart.
Its really been dragging me down, and I dont know how to make them stop. I dont want to lose my memories of her, but I want to make the visions end.
Master Egg
Member Lvl: 58
Egg Points: 2033792
Posts: 7062
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 3:06 p.m. - Subject:
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How so? She said she just wanted a little space/ break for a little, and then we could restart when she was done.
Being probs ALOT older and wiser than you,all I would say is don’t hold your breath.
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I do "have a grip".
Ive managed to stay calm and not be all depressed and emo faggish.
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I do "have a grip".
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I have no control over when I see these "visions"
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visions
Visions aint a natural fucking reaction to getting gently dumped.It is more a reaction to post traumatic stress.That sounds really extreme but VISIONS? you either take to much drugs or really were far to attached to her(probs a reason she left)
I reaally don’t mean to sound bad/harsh,I feel for you but I would just forget about her.
Normal Egg
Member Lvl: 7
Egg Points: 40853
Posts: 1589
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 3:22 p.m. - Subject:
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Being probs ALOT older and wiser than you,all I would say is don’t hold your breath.
I cant really argue with your logic.
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Visions aint a natural fucking reaction to getting gently dumped.It is more a reaction to post traumatic stress.That sounds really extreme but VISIONS? you either take to much drugs or really were far to attached to her(probs a reason she left)
I reaally don’t mean to sound bad/harsh,I feel for you but I would just forget about her.
They are? Thats probably not good..She does know about them, so now wouldnt be a good time to tell her.
Yes, visions. Usually when school starts me and her would walk to class together holding hands. Today, for whatever reason, I got the vision and physically saw her, although she diddnt look real and I knew she wasnt really there.
No, I have never taken drugs in my life, nor do I have any intentions to.
I wasnt too attached/dependent on her either. Sure, I loved her, but I wasnt attached or obsessed.
The reasons she left really werent that bad.
-Im a bad influence
-I have a very dark (supposedly "evil", although I dont see it) personality
-She was loosing friends from how I dress and look (Tripp shorts and a metal band shirt + emofag hair.
-Im too violent
-Im self destructive
-I hang with the druggies
Not that hard to fix.
So instead of my previous question, my new one is: how do I get her back?
I havent done all the things that supposedly drive her farther away.
Calling/txting her constantly, begging to come back, using logic, arguing, saying shes the only one I love, acting depressed, buying gifts, being mean, ignoring her, spreading rumors, or any of that other stuff.
It wasnt harsh, really. Feel free to say whatever you want; you wont offend me.
Master Egg
Member Lvl: 58
Egg Points: 2033792
Posts: 7062
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 3:57 p.m. - Subject:
I feel for you,I really do but I have no advice that would get her back.
I’m sorry I still think she is trying to let you down gently.
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The reasons she left really werent that bad.
-Im a bad influence
-I have a very dark (supposedly "evil", although I dont see it) personality
-She was loosing friends from how I dress and look (Tripp shorts and a metal band shirt + emofag hair.
-Im too violent
-Im self destructive
-I hang with the druggies
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Im a bad influence
You know that is her parents opinion.
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I have a very dark (supposedly "evil", although I dont see it) personality
I susspect that isn’t her opinion either or she wouldn’t want to be your friend,not many people would.
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She was loosing friends from how I dress and look (Tripp shorts and a metal band shirt + emofag hair.
Friends mean alot to teenage girls,the two quotes above could well be what her friends are saying(you can’t change that)
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Im too violent
Violence is rarely the answer,you should learn to deal with things "diffrent"
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Im self destructive
The above statements kinda say that.
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I hang with the druggies
Don’t,it is a long road to nowhere and I speak from experience.
Do you agree with the reasons she split up with you?
Do you really want to change for her?
Normal Egg
Member Lvl: 7
Egg Points: 40853
Posts: 1589
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 4:12 p.m. - Subject:
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I feel for you,I really do but I have no advice that would get her back.
I’m sorry I still think she is trying to let you down gently.
Thank you. Yes, I believe she is trying to do that. I also believe that she was honest in saying that we have a chance in the future, although its unknown when.
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You know that is her parents opinion.
Its her parents opinion, yes. Her parents like me, but just think im a bad influence.
She subconsciously knew that and just ignored it, I knew it and ignored it, and her friends knew it and made damn sure that they brought it up at every possible chance.
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I susspect that isn’t her opinion either or she wouldn’t want to be your friend,not many people would.
I have got this not from just her, but from others as well. Some of those others are just as messed up as I am though..Damn..
Im not a Satanist or a freak or anything. Im just antisocial, non religious, I dress darker (kind of goth-ish, although im not goth or emo), act like an idiot (Jackass stunts), and am over all just messed up in the head.
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Friends mean alot to teenage girls,the two quotes above could well be what her friends are saying(you can’t change that)
I know of this too, and it sucks. Her friends hate my guts for no reason. They think im a psycho whos going to snap and pull a Columbine, although im not, nor have I ever even considered it. Im actually fairly nice and friendly..Weird..
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Violence is rarely the answer,you should learn to deal with things "diffrent"
True. I only used violence when needed though.
Example: I get shit for how I look and dress, although its just me dressing how I want. Still a normal dude, but whatever. If someone says shit or hits me, they get hit back. Plain and simple.
Example II: Some asshole was grabbing her chest, which is completely unacceptable. So what did I do? Beat the shit out of him, although he was stronger. Apparently self defense and defending others isnt the right thing to do..
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Don’t,it is a long road to nowhere and I speak from experience.
I dont do drugs, have never done any, nor do I want to. They are nice people though, and I wish she would give them a chance. They dont try to push me into it, or do it around me. Ive cut my losses, none the less.
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Do you agree with the reasons she split up with you?
Do you really want to change for her?
There are about 3-5 more reasons as well.
I agree with and understand 2-4 of them, but I think the rest could be worked out and solved.
Yes, I really do. All the changes that need to be done would all be changes for the better, regardless of if we end up back together or not.
I am self destructive, as she said, and left a massive wake of destruction. One that could be avoided if I wasnt as.."off"..of a person.
Master Egg
Member Lvl: 58
Egg Points: 2033792
Posts: 7062
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 4:30 p.m. - Subject:
Well it sounds like you have the head scrweed on and if you just keep it together everything should be kool.
Just try and do things to keep her out your head and remember it is ALWAYS love at 16.
Normal Egg
Member Lvl: 7
Egg Points: 40853
Posts: 1589
Posted: Feb 13, 2009 4:42 p.m. - Subject:
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Well it sounds like you have the head scrweed on and if you just keep it together everything should be kool.
Just try and do things to keep her out your head and remember it is ALWAYS love at 16.
What?
I keep her in my head always, and I always will. I just no longer show it or tell her much.
I dont know if the "ALWAYS love at 16" was saying that every teen dude that "thinks" hes in love is wrong, or if you were serious.
Power Egg
Member Lvl: 11
Egg Points: 196347
Posts: 2492
Posted: Mar 09, 2009 1:21 a.m. - Subject:
you can let her know you still care without being a stalker... just don’t come on too strong or make any demands of her. Get talking to her again, and then let her make the first step. prove to her that you aren’t the guy that her friends say you are. and if she’s still convinced that youre "evil" and whatnot, its time to move on, there are nicer girls out there.
